Creating a comfortable life one moment at a time
I need a new knitting project. What do you think of this bandana cowl by Erin of Purl Soho? According to Erin, bandanas are all the rage on the streets of New York this year. I can’t quite see wearing a bandana, but I would love to wear this. Or maybe even make a few for Christmas gifts. You can find the pattern here.
{ Nicole Gerulat }
What is it about chocolate and peanut butter that makes the combination so amazing? I could eat it all day. So I was very happy to see these adorable Halloween treats from One Charming Party. I have a feeling my bats and cats probably won’t look quite as polished, but it’ll be fun trying. The post also features some gorgeous caramel apples and pumpkin cookies. You can find the directions here.
The other day a friend of mine posted a status update on Facebook rather sheepishly apologizing for having been so cheerful lately. It was as though she thought people would be annoyed that she was happy. Which got me thinking about success and happiness and friendship and how they all fit together.
Do you think there’s any truth to the idea that “misery loves company”? I really hope not. I mean, it’s wonderful when people are there for you when times are bad, but I sure hope they’re willing to be there for you when times are good, too.
I wonder if we really do worry that people won’t like us as much if we’re happy and successful. I remember reading once that Oprah thought one of the reasons she struggled with her weight was because being heavy made her seem less successful, so people were able to relate to her better and like her more. I read that quote a long time ago, so I hope Oprah doesn’t believe that anymore. As Marianne Williamson wrote, “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
Think about all the times you deflect a compliment, whether it’s for a new haircut (Don’t you think it’s too short?) or something you’re wearing (This? It’s just from Target). That’s why I love the quote above by Golda Meir: “Don’t be so humble. You’re not that great.” I laughed out loud the first time I heard it. It’s a great reminder to let go of false modesty.
The thing is, we’re all painfully aware of our own shortcomings and all the times we mess up. So why can’t we share the good things with our friends and get some spiritual and emotional “high-fives”?
Imagine that we’re all sitting comfortably in a room together with some good food and drinks, and we get to talk about things we’re doing that we’re really proud of. And we’re not allowed to qualify anything at all. So if you say “I’m really proud of myself for eating healthier and running my first 5K,” you don’t get to add, “But I still need to lose another 10 pounds.” Nope, you’re climbing a mountain and you’ve just reached a scenic overlook. You need to stop and enjoy the view.
I’ll give it a try (and of course the voice in my head is saying that it’ll seem like bragging): I’m really proud of myself for sticking with this freelance writing even though it’s really hard and it’s just me alone in my house with made-up deadlines that only I care about. But I’m not quitting.
Whew! I did it. How about you? What are you proud of right now? Next time you’re with some friends, why not encourage each other to share some things you’re all feeling good about?
Lexie got the sweetest birthday present from her friend Annika. Annika created an acrostic poem using Lexie’s name, and put it in a lovely frame. Isn’t this the best idea?
Annika said a friend made one for her birthday and I’m sure Lexie will want to make them for her friends, too. I love the idea of one girl sitting down to think about what she truly likes and admires about someone…who passes it on to the next person…and so on…and so on….
The thing that I love most about this gift is that the girls are the exact age that Christina (Ani’s mother) and I were when we first met. It’s been such a blessing watching their friendship bloom since they were tiny babes. Thanks for the great idea, Ani!
Tomorrow, Tim and I will celebrate 16 years of marriage. There are so many things I could say about our marriage and what these years have meant, but I’m distracted by thoughts of Lexie this morning. She and a bunch of other fifth-graders are taking part in a county-wide speech contest on environmental issues, and the parents have been invited to hear the students’ speeches this morning. (Hers is on road salt.) Lexie has worked hard preparing her speech and I know she’ll do well. But still.
And, really, that’s the thing about marriage. You’re just doing your best to hold steady together in the center while everything is spinning around you. You try not to let it all get to you and you try not to take your frustrations out on each other. On good days, you’re glad to be married to this person. On bad days, well, there’s always tomorrow. (By the way, I agree with Madeleine L’Engle, who said that it’s okay if you go to bed angry because you never wake up angry. It flies in the face of conventional wisdom, but it’s so true.)
When I first heard this song by Martina McBride, I teared up and laughed all at the same time because it was like the writer had peeked into my life, down to the hardwood floors and front porch swing. Have you heard it?
Blessed
Martina McBride
I get kissed by the sun each morning
Put my feet on a hardwood floor
I get to hear my children laughing
Down the hall through the bedroom door
Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing
Just soaking up the day
I think to myself, I think to myself
This world is a beautiful place
I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed
Across a crowded room
I know you know what I’m thinking
By the way I look at you
And when we’re lying in the quiet
And no words have to be said
I think to myself, I think to myself
This love is a beautiful gift
I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed
When I’m singing my kids to sleep
When I feel you holding me
I know
I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed