A Mom's Year

Creating a comfortable life one moment at a time

Friendly Inspiration

Have you ever come home from a friend’s house feeling inspired by something she said or did or made?

We spent the day at a friend’s house last week and I came home feeling inspired by a pitcher filled with ice-cold water and lemons, chocolate chips in the pancakes, and a loaf of homemade bread cooling on the counter.

Such simple things, but as someone once said, “It’s never about what it’s about.” What I’m really responding to, I suppose, is that my friend found time to do these things, to slice the lemons and dig out the chocolate chips and make the bread, and that these small touches do matter. My friend’s as busy as anyone, but she’s always been so good about creating space to be creative, even—especially if—it means saying “no” to things that don’t support her time with her family or her own interests.

And in a world where everyone is running around like those proverbial headless chickens, anything that takes time can feel so luxurious.

So when we got home, I sliced up a lemon, dug out a pitcher, filled it up, and put it in the fridge. On Father’s Day, we had chocolate chips in the pancakes. And maybe we’ll even make a loaf of her bread. Such simple gestures, but they make me feel like I’m slowing down life and enjoying it just a little more.

Outdoor Summer Game / 7-Up

Do you remember playing 7-Up on the playground when you were a kid? I tried to teach it to Lily recently but when I couldn’t remember all the moves, I asked if you could help me out. You did, and here are the official results for how to play 7-Up:

  • Seven-seys: Bounce the ball against the wall and catch it (without letting it hit the ground) seven times.
  • Six-seys: Throw the ball against the wall, let it bounce once on the ground, and catch it six times.
  • Five-seys: Bounce the ball on the ground five times and then catch it.
  • Four-seys: Bounce the ball from the ground to the wall and then catch it four times. (The reverse of six-seys.)
  • Three-seys: Bounce the ball on the ground once then hit it with the palm of your hand against the wall, let it bounce, and catch it three times.
  • Two-seys: Throw the ball under your leg so it hits the wall, then let it bounce and catch it two times.
  • One-seys: Throw the ball against the wall, spin around, and catch the ball before it bounces one time.

I honestly don’t remember the three-seys level, or even calling the levels “three-seys” (and “two-seys,” etc.) but Lily will like the sound of that.

We’re working on helping Lily to play more independently this summer since the older kids are busy with driver’s ed and play practice and camps here and there. Her sources of free entertainment are drying up! 7-Up will be a great game to add to her list of Things I Can Do All By Myself. Next up: Solitaire.

 

We Surrender!

Captain’s Log, May 2, 2013—Mother Nature, we are willing to meet your demands. Please just stop with all the snow.

 

Explaining Good and Evil / The Battle Inside Us

I admit that sometimes I wish Tim were more of an all-singing, all-dancing kind of Dad. “Okay, gang! Let’s train for a 5K!” or “Let’s form a family band—get out your instruments!” or “It’s Game Night!”

But the truth is that such enthusiasm from him would probably wear me out. And, anyway, his strengths come from a quieter place, which I’m often reminded of in unexpected ways.

Like last week. After the horrible events in Boston, I did my best to answer the kids’ questions. I wanted to be honest, but mostly I didn’t want them to know that the world can be so terrible.

Later in the week, I picked Lily up from school and saw her bouncing out of last year’s classroom followed by her former teacher. Mrs. J told me that Lily was explaining how we all have a good wolf and a bad wolf inside us, and the one that wins is the one we feed. Lily looked quite pleased, although I’m not sure if that was because it felt good to share wisdom or because she got some Skittles out of the deal. Probably both.

I realized that Tim must have shared the wolf story, hoping to help the kids make sense of why some people behave the way they do. He might not be flashy, but he’s awfully wise.

Here’s the full story, in case you haven’t heard it.

One day a Cherokee chief was talking to his grandson. “We all have a great battle going on inside us,” he told the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One wolf is evil. Inside him lives anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego. The other wolf is good. Inside him lives joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The elder went on and told the boy that this fight was going on inside him right now. And it would continue all his life. The little boy sat thoughtfully for a moment then turned to ask his grandfather a question.

“Which wolf will win?” he said.

The Cherokee chief smiled at him and said simply, “The one you feed.”

Les Miserables…Finally!

After what happened at Toy Story 3, I wasn’t about to watch Les Miserables in a theater with people. I kept putting off renting the movie because who goes around looking for reasons to cry? But Lexie finally said enough and tossed the DVD into our cart at the grocery store. Fine, I said, but I’m going to ease into it.

So I watched just the end with Lexie, noting that she was a sobbing mess, but I was fine. And then I watched some bits in the middle—again, fine, no big deal. And then I watched the entire thing and was a sobbing mess. Oh, that Hugh Jackman. I read somewhere that he could play Jean Valjean with his eyes alone, and it’s so true. He breaks your heart.

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