Lexie’s Leaving for College

It turns out that even if you’ve already sent one kid off to college, it’s still really hard to send another one. Did I honestly think there’d be anything easy in saying goodbye to this girl who makes me forget the rule about how you’re not supposed to be friends with your kids?

One thing that’s easing the ache in my chest is that she’s so very ready. This morning, I listened to her talking with someone at her new school about how to get into a class she needs for her major but has been wait-listed for. A frustrating situation, but she was so calm and polite. It was a good reminder for me that our kids really do listen and learn and soak things in.

What’s not helping is that I’m finding it hard to know exactly how to feel. I mean, a lot of things in life are clearly sad or happy or scary or exciting. Sending your child to college, though, whether it’s down the street or in another state, is a strange amalgam of all of that. I have a feeling that this week and the months to come are going to be a wild roller coaster ride of emotions—from the peaks of being incredibly happy for Lexie as she dives into something she’s loved since she was a toddler to the lows when all I can think is I need more time. It can’t be over yet.

And of course it isn’t over. She’s still my girl and we have a road trip to look forward to where we’ll most certainly sing along to Hadestown and probably Hamilton, too, for old time’s sake. I’ll eagerly look for Instagram posts and messages to the family chat group. And before I know it, she’ll be home for a visit. It’ll be different because some things in her—and probably in me—will have shifted. But I trust that what we’ve built over these last 18 years will hold firm and we’ll be just fine.