You may have noticed that I’ve linked to Little Monster a lot lately. I first met the blog’s author, Lisa, when she was asked to answer the same “What’s the biggest chance you ever took?” question on Design Mom. Her response was funny and real—just like her blog. Little Monster is filled with gorgeous images and recipes and inspiration, but what draws me in most, I think, is that it takes me back to those early days when it was just me and Andrew and I was learning to be a mom. I was so overwhelmed and so in love.
And there’s also the books. I’ve only come across a few people my entire life who love Anne of Green Gables as much as I do. So when Lisa posted this, I knew she was a kindred spirit.
And that reminded me of Rachel Lynde and the catalogs.
In the fifth book of the series, Anne’s House of Dreams, the ladies are discussing the beautiful weather Anne has for her wedding day. Anne’s best friend, Diana, says that she couldn’t have had a finer day if she’d ordered it from Eaton’s. That sets Rachel Lynde (the crotchety old neighbor) off on a rant about the evils of catalogues.
“Well, [the Eaton’s catalogs] are splendid to amuse children with,” said Diana. “Fred and Small Anne look at the pictures by the hour.”
“I amused ten children without the aid of Eaton’s catalogue,” said Mrs. Rachel severely.
This made me laugh when I re-read it as a parent. In our world of iPods and YouTube and DVDs, the idea of children paging through catalogues for hours sounds wonderfully simple and creative. But to Rachel Lynde, it was lazy parenting.
I actually find this passage comforting. It reminds me that there is always going to be criticism of current parenting strategies. But we’re all doing the best we can with the information and resources we have.
Doesn’t it make you wonder what Rachel Lynde would make of life in our technology-infused world? I’m sure the poor woman would be horrified at the idea of children reading books on Nooks and Kindles. Sometimes I’m a little horrified, too, to be honest. (I always wonder if the oral tradition folks had a hard time of it when the printing press came along. “But it’s the same exact story every time you read it!”)
We parents are always being told to limit screen time and I do try, but I find it really challenging to determine “good” screen time vs. “bad.” When I see a kid sitting in front of a computer, my first instinct is to get him off of it because that’s what I’ve been told good parents do.
But what happens when Andrew or Lexie says, “I’m writing a story” or Lexie says “I’m making a stop-motion video of my American Girl dolls” or Will says “I’m researching World War II aircraft.” If they were just watching “Annoying Orange” videos on YouTube all day it’d be one thing, but when they’re using technology as part of the creative process, I think it’s a lot harder to police. Throw in the fact that their father is a computer programmer and their mother works and writes on a computer and it really gets confusing.
I certainly don’t have all the answers. What I do know is that there will always be Rachel Lyndes telling us that the way we’re doings things isn’t as good as the way they did (or do) them. And that kind of criticism can make you question everything you do, especially when it comes to something as sacred as parenting. We don’t want to mess this up.
But at the end of the day, the only thing any of us can rely on is our own sense of balance. I think Robert Fulghum puts it just about perfectly in his essay “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”: “Live a balanced life—learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” That’s a plan I can handle.
So, how about you? Do you struggle with limiting technology—for yourself or your kids? Do you have firm rules in your house about “screen time”? Have you figured out how to balance “good” vs. “bad” screen time?
Judy L. says
My cousins and I used to peruse the fall sears catalog by the hour sayin “I’d buy this or I’d buy that.” About the time we tired of that, the Christmas catalog would come and we’d start all over again!
Shannon says
I think those catalogs are one of the reasons why I have four kids. I wanted to look like this: http://janceedunn.typepad.com/wwwjanceedunncom/2007/09/jc-penneys-1975.html
Of course, I didn’t realize then that my actual kids would rather die than wear matching pajamas.
Marilyn says
Oh, I do love a good Rachel Lynde quote. I recently recalled and smiled over, “But the way girls roam over the earth now is something terrible. It always makes me think of Satan in the Book of Job, going to and fro and walking up and down. I don’t believe the Lord ever intended it, that’s what.” 🙂
Rosa @ FlutterFlutter says
Oh, how I miss Eaton’s. I grew up being read all of the “Anne” books by my mom. As for screen time… the teachers are on strike here in BC, so my kids may be getting more than usual for the next three days. 😉 Just kidding, kinda.
Shannon says
That is a perfect Rachel Lynde quote, Marilyn. Now I want to go find more to laugh over.
Rosa, I didn’t even mention TV. Because half the time it’s me saying, “Why don’t you go watch a video because you’re driving me nuts.” It’s all coming out now…. Good luck with the strike!
Diane says
Judy’s comment is my experience, just insert brothers for cousins. I loved Mrs. Rachel’s comment. When I was raising children and, I suppose when I was being raised, it was all about too much time in front of the television. And when VCRs came along, oh the horror!!
Tim says
I used to love the Sears catalog when I was a kid. I remember ordering NFL jackets from them and waiting…it was kind of cool when that was the universe of stuff to want. Not like eBay – Amazon etc.
Steph says
Computers don’t go on in our house until 4pm unless for homework or school related reasons. That rule varies slightly if someone’s poorly or the weather’s bad, and everyone has to have a good lot of exercise and fresh air too! The DS is limited too. Reading never is!
Shannon says
I love your philosophy, Steph! That sounds like what I aspire to (but don’t always manage).
Shannon says
Tim, little did you know in those days that a young girl halfway around the world was picking out stripey pajamas for you to wear as the “Dad.”
Lisa Fyfe says
I used to pick my Christmas list out of the Sears and Jc Penney catalog. I loved it. I would read those catalog for what seems like hours. Now it seems so old fashioned.
Rowan is too young to know what I will do about screen time. He doesn’t have any yet at 17 months. But I love that last Robert Fulghum quote, I will remember that for a long time.
Thanks Shannon! We will have to meet one day!
Shannon says
I would love that, Lisa. Have you ever thought about going to ALT?
AmberLee says
love it! my husband insists on bringing home catalogs for the kids each year before christmas.
and I am with you on screen time. i finally decided it’s all about motherly intuition!
also, I adore Anne!