I knew the call was going to come.
The phone rang yesterday morning and it was Dr. Black.* She told me that she had been shuffling some papers around on her desk and had come upon the thing I’d written about Gunther when he passed away six weeks ago.
After asking how we were coping, she sort of stumbled around a bit. I waited. And then she said, “I don’t ever do this. In fact, I should hang up right now.”
“What is it?” I asked.
Pause. “We have this dog,” she said. And she went on to explain how a female dog had been left at the clinic a few weeks ago by a man who wanted her put to sleep. The dog had belonged to his son, but his son hadn’t taken care of her. So the dog ended up with the dad, but he didn’t want her, either. But she was a great dog and they couldn’t bring themselves to put her down. She had been living at the clinic during the week and then going home on the weekends with a teenager who worked there after school. But her parents didn’t want a dog.
And so Dr. Black thought of us.
Oh.
I asked a bunch of questions. What’s her name? Leila. How old is she? We’re not sure. The man said six, but that might have been to make himself feel better. Her teeth are really clean, so she might be closer to three. Is she healthy? Yes, although sometimes she limps a little in one leg. We did an X-ray, but didn’t see anything wrong. How is she with kids? She’s a wonderful dog. She gets along with everyone.
I told Dr. Black I needed to talk to Tim, but I’d call her back. After I hung up, I burst into tears.
You see, earlier this week I had started to write about Gunther and what it’s been like without him. And I was using the analogy of a bruise. You know how when you have a bruise, you keep pressing on it to see if it still hurts? Well, my bruise was still hurting. A lot. I had planned to write about how I still dreaded coming home to an empty house and how sad it was now when people came over because there was no welcoming bark and ecstatic reception. And that I missed him laying companionably at my feet while I worked at the dining room table. I was going to write that I wasn’t even close to wanting another dog because I was still trying to find a loophole to get Gunther back.
If I had thought a “bruise” was bad, then this phone call felt like having stitches ripped out. I’m not ready. What are you playing at, God?
But. I know our vet wouldn’t have made this request lightly after seeing what we went through with Gunther. She has two goldens of her own and knows how wonderful they are. She has four kids, too, and understands that when you’re up to your eyeballs in children, you need a dog who is smart and well-behaved and—this might seem like a strange word to use about a dog—supportive.
The truth is that I knew Dr. Black would be the one to give us our next dog. Even though vets don’t normally do this sort of thing, I just knew. It was sooner than I had wanted or expected, but this is exactly the way I had hoped a dog would find its way into our lives.
When I could talk again, I called Tim. I explained the situation and he said, “I’m not opposed to getting a dog.”
And so the younger three and I went to the clinic after school. (I know my oldest well enough to know that he wouldn’t be onboard at first. Better to let him go to after-school weight-lifting and break it to him later.) And Leila was very charming and friendly and since she didn’t bite anyone there wasn’t a reason not to take her. I told her, “I know you’re not Gunther. But maybe we can help each other.” She leaned against me. I took that as a yes.
When we got home, I spent a good part of the evening sobbing. Mothers usually try not to cry in front of their children, but I really couldn’t help it. And, anyway, they sat through Toy Story 3 with me. At this point, it felt like someone was pouring rubbing alcohol into those metaphorical stitches. Because even though Leila’s is sweet and tries harder to hug you than any dog I’ve ever met, she isn’t Gunther.
Tim knows me well and several times last night he said, simply, “She needed a home.” Which is shorthand for you’re not being disloyal or replacing Gunther or forgetting about him. I put Gunther’s collar and tags on her for now. Hearing the jingling sound feels good, and if it makes it seem like Gunther’s here, well, so be it. It’s nice having a dog to trip over when I get up. Leila was upstairs with the kids last night and didn’t meet me at the door when I came home from tap, but she doesn’t know me well enough to be excited when I get back.
But she’ll get there. So will I.
* Tim, who spends much of his time reading contracts and lives in a more litigious world than I, wondered if I should use our vet’s real name. So I’ve changed her name in case people get the idea that she’ll try to foist dogs on them.
Patti says
It seems like a great fit for you all. Leila looks beautiful (and patient :)) & Lily looks pretty happy in the photo!
Shannon says
Oh, Patti, it was so sweet. I had to shut myself away for a while, so Lily took Leila around the house and gave her the full tour. They bonded just like that.
Steph says
She’s beautiful. I’m so glad you’ve given her a home. Gunther would be proud of you doing that, I bet.
You’ll all get to love each other soon.
Lori says
Sweet. Thank you for taking her in. I know how hard it is to lose one. Leila will help. 🙂
grampa jeff says
Looks like Lily has a great new pal! You keep on looking for that “return from the other side” loophole. I suspect more than a few folks would love to hear from you when you discover it. “I’m not opposed to getting a dog”, isn’t that what Tim also had to say about Mr. Gunther? Congratulations, well done!
Shannon says
Yes! That’s exactly what Tim said about Gunther. You got the joke!
It’s nice that we were already set up for a dog—it made the decision easier: room to run; someone’s usually around; and we have great dogsitters.
Maggie K. says
Shannon, I have found that we sometimes get the questions wrong, but still get the right answer. You said you weer looking for a loophole to get Gunther back. I think you were looking for a way to get a pet back into the home. And, using Gunther’s collar kind of brought him back. Give Leila some time to get to know everyone. She will quickly learn routines. We have a Black Lab, Darla, who is 6 years old. She also has great teeth, a little white on the chin, and a slight limp in one back leg. We love her dearly. I have had several special pets in my life. There is always room for one more. I am sure Gunther will be pleased there is someone looking after the family.
Shannon says
Maggie, thank you. It’s good to hear from someone who has a Black Lab! She sounds so similar to Leila. Do you have an explanation for the limp? Should we be concerned?
Maggie K. says
Shannon, We think she has arthritus. We cannot afford huge vet bills to do a lot of tests, or surgery. She is a mix, and I think there is too much stress on her skinny legs. Sh lets us move her legs around an never shows signs of hurting. She is stiff when she gets up from sleeping too long. She has responded well to Wapiti Labs Mobility pills from Byerly’s. They ae made with Elk antlers. She also has an antler to chew on, like a bone. She has very strong teeth and goes thrugh toys and bones very quickly. We got the antler ‘bone’ from Byerly’s as well.
Michelle says
How wonderful for all of you. : )
Delia says
When Tasha’s brother was killed by a drunk driver, all my friends told me to get another dog – not to replace him but to fill the void in my broken heart. Tasha came along and – as you know – did everything she could to convince me that she would be the best version of me: happy, full of energy, relentless, loyal and – ahem – naughty. Now, 13 years later, she is slower and has arthritis in her hind legs but she still jumps when she hears a package being opened in the kitchen and she wakes me up every morning just at the right time. Even though I wish her brother was still with me, I can’t imagine life without Tasha 🙂
Shannon says
Oh, lovely Delia. Thank you for sharing Tasha’s story here. She’s such a wonderful girl. I so appreciate that you understand exactly what we’re feeling.
Donna says
I am so glad you took another plunge into having a dog! They fill the room, & your soul – whether you know it or not. I agree w/the others, Gunther is happy you have someone looking out after all of you. Can’t wait to meet her.
Shannon says
I can’t wait for you to meet her, too, Donna. I know you went through something so similar and would have told me it was okay to take Leila. I’m glad she’s here.